Stanley Holditch
Cardinals vs Cowboys Preseason Week 1
The best entertainment of night 2 of the preseason was not on the field.
It was in the Cardinals play-by-play booth in the form of what appeared to be the literal manifestation of Pepper Brooks from Dodgeball.
“Have you ever heard of ‘this, that, and the other’?” Play by play announcer Dave Pasch seemed stunned into silence, so “analyst” Ron Wolfey asked again. “Have you?”
Stammers, followed by stunned silence. Wolfey at one point during the broadcast openly wished to have his nose broken to “get the blood flowing up here” and at another point asked Pasch if he liked Chinese food for no apparent reason in describing a QB run.
It was fucking hilarious. We have a new national treasure.
In terms of the game, Rondale Moore looked good, ran some end arounds and caught 4 passes in quick succession. Got open underneath and could be a weapon in the slot. Kirk caught a long ball but did so only after a blatant push off that should have been called for offensive pass interference.
Edmonds looked spry catching the ball, and Eno Benjamin shined most running against the second and third team of Dallas’s already second rate unit.
For Dallas, Gallup had a nice grab on a screen pass and used his legs to get to the first down. Gilbert looked more comfortable than he did in the HOF game and had some nice throws, so maybe don’t sell all Dallas assets on the cheap if Dak goes down.
Falcons vs Titans Preseason Week 1
No Pitts, no Julio, no Henry, nobody and nothing of interest really. I tried watching this game but continually felt my eyes glazing over. The only takeaway is that A.J. McCarron is really, really, really bad.
Darrynton Evans was having a nice game until going down with a knee injury clouding Henry’s backup picture. Could be Brian Hill.
None of the Falcons backup running backs did much, leaving that situation unsetlled and my Javien Hawkins dynasty pick looking like a waste. It felt like it at the time.
Bills vs Lions Preseason Week 1
Goff struggled early and finished ok, 7/9 for 56 yards. Boring stuff.
Swift didn’t play and Jamal Williams looked like absolute dog shit. But it’s preseason and you can tell no one really gives a crap.
Singletary actually looked really good running the ball for the Bills, showing decisive burst through the line and getting chunk gains. With Moss out and an ADP in the 10th round, he could be a valuable bench stash/flex play if Moss misses significant time.
